I should have died today.
Locked in this empty room of blood and water, I opened my eyes trying to seek for light as I slowly crawled to the door. Inside me, I felt so helpless and alone. Deep within me, I knew the end will come...I swallowed a lump of fear…I blinked a strand of darkness…but nothing has changed.
The door was just few inches from me but it seems like the more I crawl towards it, it become farther to reach. My hands and legs are trembling with coldness. I needed arms to wrap my body…caress my deepest flesh and tell me its okay. But no one was around. Down in all fours I continued crawling like a newly born baby who was naïve of the things that is happening around her. Down in all fours, I never ceased crawling…crawling…crawling…my heart beats fast…my mind stopped thinking…my breath slowly vanishing…
“I won’t die…”, I said.
My hair covered my eyes as I struggle to reach for the light that appears before my eyes coming from that door. Yes, that door painted with white and gray, that door which I had entered a few minutes ago…I shouldn’t have entered this room of blood and water..
Blood and water flowing along the corners of the room…rolling on the edges of the walls…there was nothing inside. Just blood and water.
I crawled and crawled….breathed…breathed…breathed….breathed….
It was hard. It was painful. It was hurting.
Tears rolled down my cheeks thinking that my efforts are worthless for still, I cannot reach for the door. Pain wrapped my entirety…my arms, my legs, my knees were aching...my mind was confused, my heart was bleeding…
Pieces of memories run through my mind but none of them stopped me from crawling… I crawled more….I cried…I cried…I cried…I crawled and I cried…
My face was wet with tears, my body wet with sweat…blood and water was all around me…Every parcel of my body ached as I continued moving…Every cell in my body felt much pain as I force myself to reach that door of regrets…
Still I crawled…crawled…crawled….
I finally reached the door…but I wasn’t happy. I was tired…so tired…very tired….i touched the door and pushed it open as I slowly fell on the floor….i was numb. I forgot all the pain that I felt, I forgot how much I struggled to reach the door. I forgot that blood and water surrounded me. I forgot that I was in that room….
I blinked once. I blinked again. I closed my eyes for a while as I lay helpless on the floor wet with blood and water. I slowly opened it….
…..the light was gone…..
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